The Village

The Village, an awarded short animation by Mark Baker, United Kingdom (1993)
I recall a British documentary set in a village all in turmoil over two newcomers, an elderly couple, who dared to erect an ugly, unusually high wall around their house.
The villagers were interviewed, one by one, each explaining the fatality of the blow that the wall caused to their community as a whole. They all agreed: the new couple hiding behind that suspect wall is up to no good, no good at all!  
And the more the villagers spoke, the more they let slip... tiny snippets demonstrating that they climbed, and drilled a loophole into, that wall to pry and spy.
The couple living behind the wall never showed themselves, or their house.

Entering 1884

LONDON, 2 January 1884
As the Daily Empire reminds us, we are entering the feared year of 1884. It was more than 30 years ago, in 1848, that Mr Phineas Jupitus horrified the audience at the Old Red Lion Theatre, when unveiling his phantasmagorical steam image projection machine.
The audience was ever so pleased at first - elated! - to witness that in 1884 the moon would become the province of the British Empire, only to be horrified moments later by the appalling scenes of future war.
We are now living in that prophesized future.
Yesterday, Captain Horatio Kitchengame claimed the moon on behalf of Queen Victoria. At the same time, extraordinary reports began coming from the continent stating that it is being overrun by an invading force.
"Large areas of Belgium, Holland and France have been laid waste," reports Daily Empire. "Little is known of the invading force, except to say that it is unprecedented in strength and may be being led by a Carpasian Count called Ravenoff Fafner who was thought to have died more than 400 years ago."
(The complete article of the Daily Empire can be viewed here.)

[1884: Yesterday's Future, an animated film directed by Tim Ollive and produced by Terry Gilliam  (2012) - 100 min feature film for a family audience (but not the very young)]

Of human whale songs, and monsters

Antony and the Johnson's title track from their 'Cut the World' live album is, indeed, old news, being that it's already been performed as part of The Life and Death of Marina Abramović. What brings it back to the stage is the above avantgarde video directed by  Nabil Elderkin, and starring Willem Dafoe and Carice van Houten.

Her presence strongly felt throughout the video (at the very least as from 3:49), it's still a shock to find her facing you at 4:14 into the video. It's Marina Abramović, that same Serbian witch-lady at MOMA whom people went to sit across from in order to gaze into her staring, starless eyes. And people never knew the risk they took. She might just as easily tie their hair, with hers, into a single braid. And that would not be her first, either. Artists, she insists, must sacrifice themselves. And artists who sacrifice themselves will not waver from sacrificing the audience.

It's not difficult for me to understand why Abramović, the first time she heard Antony perform (at a Rufus Wainwright's concert), stood up and demanded, with loud repeated shrieks: "Who is he? WHO IS HE?"

"People around me were complaining," she would explain later, "but I was compelled. I kept saying out loud: 'Who is he?' I wanted to know everything about him."

Antony, known to refer to his own singing as a 'hex', also has a witch-air about him. Whether experienced as eerie, other-wordly or heartbreaking, Antony's singing binds with enchantments. Paired with Abramović's creative (and equally, if not more, spell-binding)  mind, they gave birth to the most beautiful of ethereal child-monsters. It's only a matter of time before they breath life into its body, too. And lo and behold.

Who

Who is a wonderfully tomwaitsy opening track on Love This Giant, a rare and unsettling album that entered the market mere days ago. The album is a mesmerizing collaboration between David Byrne (the frontman of Talking Heads) and Annie Clark (the alias of St. Vincent). The who-hounts-whom video of mutual pursuits was directed by Martin de Thurah.

Who’s gonna be my friend 
All around the table, everybody’s staring

And may we all find ourselves living in a shotgun shack...

Cell Block Tango

A prison tango brought to you from the women's block in the Cook County Jail! The song is from the song repertoire of 'Chicago', a musical vaudeville set in the 1920s Chicago. The featured video is from the 2002 film rendition of the musical, but you may very well enjoy also (or instead) the gay version performed by the Gay Men Chorus of Los Angeles.
I give you then - Velma! The Other murderesses! And - all that... jazz! 

Light, lightly, lightfully

Surface tension lamp by Front (for Booo).

In the princedom by the sea

Every prose is a narrative, and good prose will make you search for the narrator.

The images above are of Humbert Humbert, not only a literary character from, but also the narrator of, Vladimir Nabokov's 'Lolita'. The first image was created using law enforcement composite sketch software and descriptions of literary characters. Go here, if you are interested in following this project. The second image is of James Mason, who portrayed Humbert Humbert in Stanley Kubrick's 1962 film. 

Humbert Humbert was always more real to me than Nabokov. To this day, I have no idea what Nabokov looked like. But I'd instantly recognize the 'boyishly manly' Humbert Humbert and his 'gloomy good looks'. "I was and still am, despite mes malheurs," Humbert Humbert explains, "an exceptionally handsome male; slow-moving, tall, with soft dark hair and a gloomy but all the more seductive cast of demeanor." 

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.
Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style."

Thus begins Humbert Humbert's narrative. He readily attests that he is one of the "unhappy, mild, dog-eyed gentlemen, sufficiently well integrated to control their urge in the presence of adults, but ready to give years and years of life for one chance to touch a nymphet." Dolores, his landlady's daughter of twelve, is one of such chosen creatures, one of such maidens between the age of nine and fourteen... not human, but nymphic, one of such feline and slender beings who causes bubbles of hot poison in his loins and super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in his subtle spine.

Who is a better match: the law enforcement sketch or James Mason? The sketch is more literal. It is limited to the descriptions of the physique. James Mason is far closer in depicting the kind of man who would describe himself the way he did.   

Humbert Humbert repulses and fascinates us. His dark humour and intelligence unnerve us, because we feel we should dislike everything about Humbert Humbert. We don't understand his love, but we recognize it as love nonetheless. 

"I knew that I had fallen in love with Lolita forever; 

but I also knew she would not forever be Lolita." 

Not only is this eternal love all wrong, it is also impossible. Lolita has to grow up, and we know that Humbert Humbert only lusts for nymphets. 

"...and when by the means of pitiful ardent, naively lascivious caresses, she of the noble nipple and massive thighs prepared me for the performance of my nightly duty," he wrote about his having sex with Dolores' mother, "it was still a nymphet’s scent that in despair I tried to pick up, as I bayed through the undergrowth of dark decaying forests…”

The end was always near and it never had any alternatives.

 "Oh, my Lolita, I have only words to play with!"

Combat Christmas chill

Gift ideas that come to mind as best fitted to combat the Christmas chill with: blankets from Iceland (by Vík Prjónsdóttir), matches and fairy tales.

Snow Blanket 
Shield of Wings (below)

Bernadette's doubtful comforts

These two videos were both directed by the Berlin-based studio A Nice Idea Every Day. The first one is the official music video for 'Bernadette', a song of IAMX (album 'Volatile Times', 2011). The second one is the official music video for 'Doubtful Comforts', a song of Blue Roses (album 'Blue Roses', 2009).

IKEA hacks

Apparently, roughly one tenth of Europeans has been conceived in an IKEA bed.

The mere fact that IKEA is so incredibly accessible to a regular joe, helped build a widely shared perception that an IKEA household appears generic and impersonal. It does, too: were you to purchase all your furniture, objects and accessories from Droog, your household would look impersonal and, yes, generic.

All above photographs showcase IKEA households, in our desire to inspire. You haven't seen those lovely elements in your catalogue, you say? That's because you haven't. The images above are of IKEA hacks: unique objects derived from the mass product. The key is to realize that an IKEA product can also be used as material (especially considering its price): it's a LEGO block of sorts. The mass product is there for you to personalize and repurpose: in the words of IKEA Hackers, you can »break into the IKEA code of furniture assembly.« If so, the sky's the limit where your IKEA household is concerned.

 


We're not all natural-born IKEA hackers with hammer and nail always at the ready. In the meantime, IKEA has become such a constant in our lives that a whole myriad of satellite businesses has developed in its orbit specializing in just that: creating options for you to personalize your IKEA furniture. A few suggestions:

Bemz is a Swedish company making custom designed fabric slipcovers for IKEA sofas, armchairs and other furniture. I recommend dressing up this sofa, and this bed.

Mykea is a Dutch company making custom designed stickers for IKEA furniture.

The possiblities are endless. There are even furniture makers offering to add custom-made doors to your IKEA cabinets (see REDO). 

Christmas songlist for the laid-back, pagan and kinky

Gem's selection of Christmas croons:

Santa Baby, by Eartha Kitt

Baby, It's Cold Outside, by Sammy Davis Jr and Carmen McRae

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, by Annie Lennox

O Come O Come Emmanuel, by Belle & Sebastian

Winter Wonderland, by Radiohead
(you may want to move a minute ahead with this one)

In order to see the 25 best Christmas songs of all time as ranked by the professional musicians themselves, press here: as it turns out, the best Christmas song is, perhaps unsurprisingly, exactly the one that always scored the highest among the anti-Christmas anthems.

2012 feature: Champagne

Who knew I'd ever fall for Dutch champagne? Head over heals, even. Zarb is a completely new champagne brand developed but a year ago by THEY (see at theyhaveawebsite.com). 'Zarb' means bizarre in French slang and Zarb is exactly how I want to travel to 2012.
I welcome any concept that makes champagne 'an everyday tradition, like brushing your teeth or losing your car keys'. The website kindly reassures us that Zarb champagne is best served everywhere, anywhere, here, now: may it be at our ex-partner's wedding, at confession or while riding a mermaid.
Napoleon said it all: in victory you deserve champagne, in defeat, you need it.
The two bottles featured above are from Zarb's special art edition: the latter was designed by Tjep. and the former by La Bolleur. [Press here in order to see the other inspiring bottles from this edition.]
If interested in buying, you are best advised to do so on Thursdays. That is when Ivan is working, Zarb's 'employee of the month and fastest bottle picker'.

Tjep.

The 'Lucky Building' in New York City: "[a]nd who would want to crash a plane into such a friendly looking building...," indeed.
New York City skyline received this makeover from Tjep., a Dutch design studio formed by Frank Tjepkema.
(A while ago, Gem featured another Tjep.'s project.)
Note that dot: not 'Tjep', but Tjep. is the name of this studio with a dot on elegance, technology and poetry.

Training table manners

De Tafelwip (loosely translated: 'the courtesy table') is a playful, if slightly scornful Dutch design by Marleen Jansen. If you are going to be so rude as to leave the table before everyone has finished dinner, you will cause the other diner to crash down.

Bookshelf porn

You may be acquainted with individuals who read ebooks. You may even have befriended one or two such ereaders. Chances are that you yourself are such an ereader. We, however, still indulge in books in a trashy way.



We frequent libraries and bookstores, and we carefully plan our interiors to accomodate the beloved books. Over the years, we moved from one to another jurisdiction, house, job, lover. Old LPs, casettes, magazines, letters, dear gifts were more often than not lost along our way. Usually, it is only the books that make it. Each a story in its own right, they link us to our past.



And so it can hardly come as a surprise that our bookshelves are something between a shrine and a peep-show. Our books may seem accidental to an innocent bystander, but we who selected them know better. We indulge in scanning the libraries of people we know to get to know these people better.



We may have entered the sexy boudoirs of those who persuaded us to come up for a nightcap, but we hastily departed when we found their poor books or, even, no books at all. I know a man who fell under a spell of his (now) girlfriend, when he saw her bookshelves: she pins little green curtains on each individual shelf to keep books safe. How could one possibly resist that?
Photographs featured are all taken from Bookshelf Porn, a photo-blog showcasing only the best photographs of bookshelves: the ones that are nothing less than 'porn for book lovers'. Highly recommended. In the coming days, we will select and feature bookshelves we crave for.

Variations on normal

Foam sculptures


Nosing the smartphone while having a bath (featuring Wilcox himself)


A chair swing (featuring Wilcox being swung by his dad)


Honesty stamps


A measure-tape diary

There's a big chance that you've already come accross Dominic Wilcox. His war bowls are by now a classic on design blogs. He is, however, more an innovator than a designer. Wilcox's amazing blog, Variations on normal, is really a little factory of innovations. In his own words: his blog is "a place for the sketchbook thoughts, ideas, and inventions of me, Dominic Wilcox." It is hard to believe that this is a one-man factory: there seem to be no Oompa-Loompas there cheerfully slaving away.
For those of you that could honestly make use of that honesty stamp, it comes in eight variations:
I sincerely apologise for all the trouble I've caused.
In all my life I've never met anyone as beautiful as you.
All I ask for is one last chance.
I know in the past I've found it difficult to say these words but I LOVE YOU.
What do you mean I'm always too busy?
I swear on my mother's grave I'll never do that again.
You are by far the most talented person I know.
You're right, the key to a strong relationship is communication.
Very handy.









While some of his sketchbook innovations made it in the real world (see Wilcox's webshop), others may never come about. Unfortunately, because it is exactly the latter that are amusing to no end. We're shamelessly applying a handful of his sketchbook ideas in our daily routine.

Job

Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Jazz noir

Amidst all the Britnies and Justins we have forgotten all about it. What makes for really good music? It's quite simple, really. A really good singer and a really good song.
But then there's a whole different brand of music. Which secret ingredient sets such music appart from really good music? We don't know. We only know how to recognise it: we find it irresistable. Play it again, Sam... A person dear to me finds 'Back It Up' to be such irresistable music.
Indeed, the song and the singer fit the bill. Caro Emerald, a Dutch conservatory trained jazz vocalist, is a really good singer. And the song, written by David Schreurs and Vince Degiorgio, is a really good song.
There is that rare chemistry there between the singer and the song, too: apparently, it took only one take. The song even has a cinematic quality to it. As you listen, Humphrey Bogarts are hiding at every corner.
And as for the secret ingredient... Ever since the single came out in 2009, the listeners do exactly as the song instructs: they back it up and do it again. Even the lyrics read as a manual for manic listeners:

Gimme some of that funky
The kind that the Duke used to play
And make it more swingy
Heyey

And then give me some hornay
You know the bub-pu-pa bub-pu-pa-bay
Come on, give it to me
Hmmm hmmm

Slam that bass and make it sing
Give those strings that rip 'n zing
You know zactly what I came here for
Back it up and do it again

I believe this song is one of the most cleverly crafted songs I've come accross.
As one reviewer has put it: Caro finds her charm in a fairly obvious way; she takes the heart-pounding, smoky-lounged, crowd-whistling side of jazz and makes that the backbone of her music. In other words, Caro gave center stage to jazz I call 'jazz noir', vocal jazz from the movies that always feels like guilty pleasure... Hollywood jazz forever associated with bar noise, smoking, femme fatalles and men with hats. Hats off to Caro.

Designtellers

A cloud umbrella


Pillows blanket


Back-to-nature speakers


A sea-wave sound chair, a rocking chair...


... giving out the sound of waves and providing you with the illusion of a beach...

All above featured products were designed by Studio Joon&Jung from Eindhoven in the Netherlands. The designers, Joonsoo Kim, Jungyou Choi and Hyunwook Lee, are originally Korean and graduates from the Design Academy Eindhoven. Their unique blend of Dutch and Korean approaches to design makes up for a delightfully unexpected portfolio. It is becoming more apparent by the day that also in design Asia is the new frontier.

Dillard and Fullerton's Traveling Circus

A tune that might just as well have been from the 1920s. It isn't, though. 'Have You Seen My Sister Evelyn' was created a year ago by Evelyn Evelyn.
Evelyn Evelyn is a cirque-cum-cabaret band of two twin sisters, who were conjoined at birth. They make original compositions on piano, ukulele, guitar and accordion. Prior to forming Evelyn Evelyn, they traveled with the Dillard & Fullerton's Illusive Traveling Show.



Have you seen my sister Evelyn?
Dang she's gone and wandered off again.
I've been looking high and low,
Where oh where'd my sister go?

Now relax and put all those recurring Fellini images to rest. You will be relieved to learn that beneath the smoke and mirrors the twins are not real. They are fictional characters acted out by Amanda Palmer and Jason Webley.

Is my floozy sister with the doctor,
Or the drummer,
Or the dentist or the handyman?
Did that ho-bag quit her job and run off
with that dickhead Mike,
To Indio, Guantanamo,
Or Panama or Disneyland.
Is she studying Kabbalah?
Did she win a million dollars?
Or is she dead in a ditch somewhere?

The endearing music video was directed by Hoku Uchiyama (lead animation by Adam Bolt). Betty Boop era cartoon characters are finger-drawn onto the frosted store window: the entire animation is running on frost. Sort of an animated 'Harold and His Purple Crayon': only much, much crazier.