14 February 2012

In the princedom by the sea


Every prose is a narrative, and good prose will make you search for the narrator.
The images above are of Humbert Humbert, not only a literary character from, but also the narrator of, Vladimir Nabokov's 'Lolita'. The first image was created using law enforcement composite sketch software and descriptions of literary characters. Go here, if you are interested in following this project. The second image is of James Mason, who portrayed Humbert Humbert in Stanley Kubrick's 1962 film

Humbert Humbert was always more real to me than Nabokov. To this day, I have no idea what Nabokov looked like. But I'd instantly recognize the 'boyishly manly' Humbert Humbert and his 'gloomy good looks'. "I was and still am, despite mes malheurs," Humbert Humbert explains, "an exceptionally handsome male; slow-moving, tall, with soft dark hair and a gloomy but all the more seductive cast of demeanor." 

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.
She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.
Did she have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Lolita at all had I not loved, one summer, a certain initial girl-child. In a princedom by the sea. Oh when? About as many years before Lolita was born as my age was that summer. You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style."


Thus begins Humbert Humbert's narrative. He readily attests that he is one of the "unhappy, mild, dog-eyed gentlemen, sufficiently well integrated to control their urge in the presence of adults, but ready to give years and years of life for one chance to touch a nymphet." Dolores, his landlady's daughter of twelve, is one of such chosen creatures, one of such maidens between the age of nine and fourteen... not human, but nymphic, one of such feline and slender beings who causes bubbles of hot poison in his loins and super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in his subtle spine.
Who is a better match: the law enforcement sketch or James Mason? The sketch is more literal. It is limited to the descriptions of the physique. James Mason is far closer in depicting the kind of man who would describe himself the way he did.   


Humbert Humbert repulses and fascinates us. His dark humour and intelligence unnerve us, because we feel we should dislike everything about Humbert Humbert. We don't understand his love, but we recognize it as love nonetheless. 
"I knew that I had fallen in love with Lolita forever; 
but I also knew she would not forever be Lolita." 

Not only is this eternal love all wrong, it is also impossible. Lolita has to grow up, and we know that Humbert Humbert only lusts for nymphets. 
"...and when by the means of pitiful ardent, naively lascivious caresses, she of the noble nipple and massive thighs prepared me for the performance of my nightly duty," he wrote about his having sex with Dolores' mother, "it was still a nymphet’s scent that in despair I tried to pick up, as I bayed through the undergrowth of dark decaying forests…”

The end was always near and it never had any alternatives.

 "Oh, my Lolita, I have only words to play with!"

21 December 2011

Combat Christmas chill

Gift ideas that come to mind as best fitted to combat the Christmas chill with: blankets from Iceland (by Vík Prjónsdóttir), matches and fairy tales.

Snow Blanket 
Shield of Wings (below)



















20 December 2011

Bernadette's doubtful comforts





These two videos were both directed by the Berlin-based studio A Nice Idea Every Day. The first one is the official music video for 'Bernadette', a song of IAMX (album 'Volatile Times', 2011). The second one is the official music video for 'Doubtful Comforts', a song of Blue Roses (album 'Blue Roses', 2009).

19 December 2011

IKEA hacks

Apparently, roughly one tenth of Europeans has been conceived in an IKEA bed.
The mere fact that IKEA is so incredibly accessible to a regular joe, helped build a widely shared perception that an IKEA household appears generic and impersonal. It does, too: were you to purchase all your furniture, objects and accessories from Droog, your household would look impersonal and, yes, generic.












All above photographs showcase IKEA households, in our desire to inspire. You haven't seen those lovely elements in your catalogue, you say? That's because you haven't. The images above are of IKEA hacks: unique objects derived from the mass product. The key is to realize that an IKEA product can also be used as material (especially considering its price): it's a LEGO block of sorts. The mass product is there for you to personalize and repurpose: in the words of IKEA Hackers, you can »break into the IKEA code of furniture assembly.« If so, the sky's the limit where your IKEA household is concerned.









 


We're not all natural-born IKEA hackers with hammer and nail always at the ready. In the meantime, IKEA has become such a constant in our lives that a whole myriad of satellite businesses has developed in its orbit specializing in just that: creating options for you to personalize your IKEA furniture. A few suggestions:


Bemz is a Swedish company making custom designed fabric slipcovers for IKEA sofas, armchairs and other furniture. I recommend dressing up this sofa, and this bed.


Mykea is a Dutch company making custom designed stickers for IKEA furniture.
The possiblities are endless. There are even furniture makers offering to add custom-made doors to your IKEA cabinets (see REDO). 

18 December 2011

Christmas songlist for the laid-back, pagan and kinky



Gem's selection of Christmas croons:

Santa Baby, by Eartha Kitt

Baby, It's Cold Outside, by Sammy Davis Jr and Carmen McRae

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, by Annie Lennox

O Come O Come Emmanuel, by Belle & Sebastian

Winter Wonderland, by Radiohead
(you may want to move a minute ahead with this one)

In order to see the 25 best Christmas songs of all time as ranked by the professional musicians themselves, press here: as it turns out, the best Christmas song is, perhaps unsurprisingly, exactly the one that always scored the highest among the anti-Christmas anthems.

14 December 2011

2012 feature: Champagne




Who knew I'd ever fall for Dutch champagne? Head over heals, even. Zarb is a completely new champagne brand developed but a year ago by THEY (see at theyhaveawebsite.com). 'Zarb' means bizarre in French slang and Zarb is exactly how I want to travel to 2012.
I welcome any concept that makes champagne 'an everyday tradition, like brushing your teeth or losing your car keys'. The website kindly reassures us that Zarb champagne is best served everywhere, anywhere, here, now: may it be at our ex-partner's wedding, at confession or while riding a mermaid.
Napoleon said it all: in victory you deserve champagne, in defeat, you need it.
The two bottles featured above are from Zarb's special art edition: the latter was designed by Tjep. and the former by La Bolleur. [Press here in order to see the other inspiring bottles from this edition.]
If interested in buying, you are best advised to do so on Thursdays. That is when Ivan is working, Zarb's 'employee of the month and fastest bottle picker'.

Tjep.


The 'Lucky Building' in New York City: "[a]nd who would want to crash a plane into such a friendly looking building...," indeed.
New York City skyline received this makeover from Tjep., a Dutch design studio formed by Frank Tjepkema.
(A while ago, Gem featured another Tjep.'s project.)
Note that dot: not 'Tjep', but Tjep. is the name of this studio with a dot on elegance, technology and poetry.